When I was pregnant, Trenon had no desire to enter this world. Apparently he was very cozy in my belly and had no intention of leaving. I always say that I would still be pregnant (11 yrs later) if Dr. Tadvick hadn’t cut him out.
He is still a momma’s boy to this day. To the point where I frequently refer to him as my shadow.
With all the togetherness that he and I share, I have no clue when the attitude demons entered his body.
Not all the time, but every so often, they take over his mouth and cause Trenon to say things that have to be from an unnatural being, because my precious baby boy would NEVER say those things to anyone, much less the woman who lugged him around inside her for 9 months!
When they take over, I’m no longer his most favorite person. I’m the lady who makes him clean his room and take off his shirt to be ironed. I’m sure you’re thinking, “How could you be such an awful and horrible person?”
Well, it’s because of my mother…
I learned my wicked ways from the best. She made me clean & do laundry (and I say “she” because those of you who knew my daddy know he would have never had made me do such atrocious things) and even removed the door from my room a few times, for reasons I will not go into (never incriminate yourself in writing).
I remember Mother saying, “I’ve always loved you, but I didn’t like you very much after you turned 8 until you were well into your 20s.”
Maybe she was trying to work the attitude demons out of me!?!? Is it possible that the vile creatures that reside in us are hereditary? I apparently had them and Trenon obviously does.
Don’t get me wrong. He is an amazing, tender hearted, smart, funny kid who is a blast to be around 92.3% of the time. He has a heart for God like no child I’ve ever known, & I thank God daily for allowing me to be his mom.
It’s just those random moments that catch me off guard, when the attitude demons inside take over and push my buttons. And who better to push my buttons than someone who lived inside of me.
The good news, I guess, is that this shouldn’t be a permanent possession. If I out grew it, surely he will as well. In the mean time, I will lean on the Lord to keep His arm around my shoulder and His hand over my mouth. Staying in His word and in prayer and anxiously awaiting the time when Trenon will “arise and call me blessed.” (Proverbs 31:28)
However, if you do know of an exorcist that specializes in the possession of tween boys, let me know!!! I’m not opposed to speeding up the process for everyone’s good.
I’ve been called many things in my life but “easy going” is not one of them. I’m a very passionate person and tend to go to extremes when I’m passionate towards or against a situation.
That’s a quality that served me well in high school debate and throughout my sales based career. BUT… In my Christian walk… Not so much.
In my Bible reading this morning I read the following:
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8 NIV)
Whoever does not love does not know God… WOW!
That’s a very tall order! That means I’m suppose to love ISIS & all radical Muslims, the Westboro church protestors, terrorists, EVEN the Dallas Cowboy haters!!
And maybe most importantly…
If I don’t love them then I don’t truly know God. That is a scary thought.
I love God, and I try to increase that love daily. Yet if I can’t find a way to love those who are hard to love, those who hurt my loved ones (the momma bear comes out when my kid is involved), those who KILL CHRISTIANS I don’t truly know God.
That’s a sobering thought.
Now don’t mistake love with approval. Even in God’s unmeasurable love for all of us, He still recognizes our sin, and we will be held accountable for that sin if we do not repent. Yet, His love never waivers. (Psalms 136:26)
So I can now add “Love ISIS” to my ever growing to do list for my Christian walk. It’s a very good thing that I serve a patient and loving God, as this one may take a while.
I’ve always heard that the devil will fight his hardest to win you over when God has big plans for you and your life.
If that’s true, then I’m about to discover the cure for stupidity or stumble over a pill that makes you skinny over night.
For the last month or so, I’ve had to fight to keep my joy, hold my tongue (ok I may not have done so well on that one every time), & reign in my aggravation & anger over a multitude of relatively small things. It seems like every where I turn, whether in my personal, professional, or spiritual life something (Satan) is wreaking havoc. There have been obstacles to maneuver, hurdles to jump, & flaming arrows to dodge almost every day. None of which have been earth shattering, but definitely mood altering.
While I have stumbled plenty (yet unfortunately not over the skinny pill), I am trying to rely on God to get me through these little things more than ever. I’ve always gone to Him for support & peace when things were really bad, but not so much with the little daily annoyances that take my focus off of Him. If there’s a crisis in our family, I can be a rock because I’m leaning on Him, but lost keys or a flash of attitude from someone else will set me off instantly.
Then I came across this…
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9
I would like to thank the author of Ecclesiastes for calling me a fool thousands of years before my birth because that verse had to be divinely placed in the Bible specifically for me. I like to call those “slap me upside the head with the Bible” moments when all I can do is laugh and say, “I get it God.”
Hopefully now that I get where I’m going wrong the devil will back off a little bit, but if not I’ll at least try to not act a fool.
Today’s Christian female is expected to be a Proverbs 31 woman, a 1 Peter 3 wife, & a Deuteronomy 6 mom with Wall Street Journal business savvy, a Vogue body, & a Better Homes & Garden house.
I can proudly say I’ve been complimented on all the above numerous times, just never on all of them at the same time. That’s a lot of balls to juggle, ladies! Can I get an Amen?
In my 36 years as a female, 15 years as a wife, and 11 years as a mom I still fail miserably and often. Praise be to The Lord for His grace and that of my family.
I will say I feel like for the first time I’m really beginning to see the place where God wants me. To see His direction in my life.
I want to be all the things above and for too long I’ve gone about accomplishing them in a way where something else had to be sacrificed. I never could keep all of the balls in the air at the same time.
Now I still can’t, but I’m beginning to learn to allow myself grace when I fail, and to better seek God’s will for my life.
The most ironic thing is when you seek God’s will for your life, wait for an answer (that’s the part I’m usually missing), & then follow that answer, things fall in to place. There are still as many balls and responsibilities but somehow the load is lighter.
I hope this blog will serve as a creative outlet for all that God is laying on my heart and maybe, if it’s His will, touch the life of someone.
Yes… I know that requires an audience, but baby steps here. It took me over a week just to come up with the name!!
Anyway… Enough of my ramblings for now (assuming anyone is still reading) but I want to close with my favorite Bible verse.
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. (Romans 12:12 NIV)
This is one of the key verses that I’m working to build my life around.
Ok… TTFN but not forever